A brief review // HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011 has been one of growth for me. It has been one of self doubt, struggle, crashing computers, new jobs, new opportunities, family drama, travel, and my very first cruise. I acquired a stalker this year. I took a break from blogging, and relaunched my online store, Amberie. I made new friendships, and rekindled old ones. This year my readership doubled, and I sold a years worth of advertising.  Jennifer from I know, Right? became a permanent fixture on the blog with her own monthly feature. I bought my first DSLR. I colored my hair pink, dyed it black (twice) and then brown. I learned how to give my cat pills. I discovered what SEO meant. Returned to France, and had the joy of sharing the city that will forever own my heart with my boyfriend. Discovered Puerto Vallarta. I became Alice in Wonderland.

And then there was you. You my dear reader. I have not had to struggle alone because of you. This year the blog got a lot more personal. I shared with you my frustrations, fears, and the twilight world that I sometimes get caught up in as a fashion blogger. I shared with you my fear and anger of my "cruise ship stalker". I shared with you my joy of re-launching Amberie - some of you even featured it on your blogs. You gave me words of comfort and encouragement though the hard times, and you were there for the high-fives in the times of joy. For that, thank you. You have kept me grounded.

I learned valuable lessons this year. Perhaps two of the most pertinent were: I cannot live in the past. While staying with my grandfather this summer (where I became Alice in Wonderland), I came to discover that living in the past can often result in the over-romancing of the past. Rose tinted glasses can sometimes be dangerous. Lessons are not learned that way. When I returned to my Alma Mater I discovered that I was a stranger in what was once my own home. We cannot thrive in the past; we must keep moving forward.

The second lesson that I learned is that I cannot live through others. No philosophical thought here. You are the best you; no one else can be you like you.  

Jenny's Mouthwash: The Goodbye Kid

Grant was like a brother to me.

We used to do everything together, since birth.

As little kids living in Florida, we would run along the beach, collecting sea shells and riding the waves. We would spend weekends playing our favorite computer games and having sleepovers. We loved to turn off all the lights at night and see who could scare the crap out of the other with the most frightening ghost story.



He was the first person to read every single story I ever wrote. He loved them all and it really boosted my confidence. His belief in me shaped the writer I am today. He thought I was awesome, and I believed he was right.

When we were in middle school, Grant bought best friends necklaces for us. We wore those necklaces every single day until high school.

That's when things started to change.



We didn't hang out as much. Grant was the baseball star of his high school and all his best friends were preppy jocks. He grew tall and handsome and muscular. Girls were crazy about him and I didn't blame them.

I grew in another direction. I became editor of my high school newspaper. My friends thrived on academia and preferred poetry slams at coffee shops, rather than attending football games.

By the time we got to college, we still e-mailed occasionally but we rarely spoke in person.



I went to a university in a big city and by coincidence, Grant ended up getting a baseball scholarship at a college three hours away from me, in a little country town. He joined a fraternity and started a cocaine-using partying lifestyle unrecognizable to me.

I went to visit him a couple times, but he kept making excuses for returning the favor. He kept promising he'd visit. He kept making plans and cancelling them at the last minute. Finally, he did make it to the city for a baseball conference, and one morning we agreed to meet at a small diner an hour away from my apartment.

I sat there in the parking lot, waiting...waiting...for two hours. He finally called and said he wouldn't be able to make it. He was too hungover and he didn't want to make the 15 minute drive from his hotel.



We haven't spoken since.

I found out from his mom a few years later, that during college he used to come up to the big city all the time with his fellow frat brothers, but was careful never to tell me. I guess he didn't think I was cool enough to hang out with his friends.

I found out on facebook he's living in Chicago and he is engaged now, to a girl who is just as superficial as him. He's no longer on speaking terms with his family, because they think she's a manipulative bitch. But he doesn't care. She's rich and high-society and she got him a manager position at her daddy's construction firm.



Sometimes it's hard to swallow how people who were once so close, grew so far apart. How can two people who were inseparable during childhood become strangers as adults?

Was he always a douchebag? Did I just never notice? When did I start being too uncool to hang out with? Was it when I got braces?

Sometimes I don't like to remember my childhood, because I can still feel his presence in my life, like it was yesterday.



And it breaks my heart to know my happiest memories involve running along the beach, shouting with laughter, with a best friend who would one day fade away as quickly as the grains of sand dispersing through the wind.

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Jennifer of I Know, Right? Is a monthly writer here on the blog. She is an amazing friend, writer and wonderfully gifted in her frank outlook on the world around her. Be sure to check out her blog!

I'm Gonna Eat it in These...

Alexander Wang Constance boots. 

I thought I knew how to walk in heels...but these are a whole 'nuther category!

(PS - Jenny's post will arrive tomorrow!)

The Pink Scarf

How was your holiday my dear? Did Santa spoil you? I sure hope so! As you can see, I went shopping. Again. Remember my purple shimmer dress? Well, I bought it in orange! I also bought a Brandy Melville sweater. Photos soon! Aside from shopping and consuming a copious amount of cookies, I've also been singing The Beatles Rockband all weekend long. I love The Beatles!! I'm in "story mode" and have been getting 5 stars in all the performances.

Aside from the dress and sweater, I also bought this bright neon pink scarf. I loved my yellow one so much, that I thought that the pink one would be a perfect addition! Well... I should have known that at $8, that the yarn would be cheap, and that it would shed all over every single thing that it touched. Ah well. Let's think of it as bringing color to every situation.

Scarf: Forever 21 // Cardigan: Banana Republic // Sleeveless blazer: H&M // Dress: Lush // Boots: Target // Bag: Liv Fashion Boutique

Thank you for reading! And please, tell me what you got for Christmas! I'm so curious!!

Have a Fabulous and Warm Christmas Holiday!

Some of the images that make the holidays so sweet: warm tea, Ladurée treats, Christmas decorations, Champagne, and of course Paris...

With morning tempatures in the 20s, I suppose it's safe to hope (wish) for snow. 

I want to thank you for being with me for another year, dear reader. You have seen me through my ups, my downs, my blogging breaks, and my exciting travels. Today I am wishing you a happy and safe holiday. I hope that wherever you are, you are safe, loved, and content.

Remember, this is the season for making new and wonderful memories! Try not to spend too much time online lovelies! We can't live our entire lives on here, can we? Don't forget to be among the living.

I will be on Christmas Holiday break from the blog until the 27th.

Keeping Things Casual // Black Cape

I believe I had a few of you ask if I ever "just wore jeans?" The answer is a loud resounding yes! I actually love jeans. I cannot imagine a life without them, in fact. Up until last year I didn't even own pants - all I had was jeans. I had to go out and buy a pair of black slacks for an interview because my trouser jeans didn't count ( after that information I suddenly wasn't interested in the position).

Lush fuzzy top // Big Star cape // Bag <- all purchased at Liv Fashion Boutique // Gap jeans // Steve Madden shoes

 BAM! Denim! I love Gap jeans. I know there are bigger and more expensive brands out there: Rock Revivals, Miss Me, Paper Cloth and Denim, Sevens...The list goes on and on. I'll take Gap, thanks. They are still rather expensive for me, so it's been about a year since I last bought a pair. For some reason it's easier for me to justify a $60 pair of shoes than a pair of jeans for the same price. Maybe it's because I know the shoes will always fit, and can't shrink in the wash.

I wish you could feel this cape by Big Star (also a denim brand). It is so amazingly soft! I bought this with a long plane flight in mind (I'll be taking one in Feb). I've been wearing it every day since I bought it - which was Sunday! I could live in it.

[Okay. I'm running out of things to say.] I am also in love with this bag. I bought this recently too. I should do a purse post. 

Thank you so much for reading! Can you believe that Christmas is this weekend already?! How time flies! I hope that you are able to spend it with the ones that you love (and that love you all the more in return).